Radar

A snippet spotted in Pilot Magazine and entered in Bike Magazine:

The article was entitled "In a hurry are we, sir?" ( British Police Wit).

Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on the Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged in apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over 300 mph.

The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying Harrier hurtled over their heads. The boys in blue, upset at the damage to their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have been more severe. The Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to the'enemy' radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface missile attack. Luckily(?) the Harrier was operating unarmed.

Gee Officer, sorry about your patrol car........

Sexy Miranda Rights

Recite your Miranda Rights to the nearest officer!

~I have the right to be picked up by a man in uniform.
~I have the right to be handcuffed and stripped-searched.
~Anything I see or touch must be held against me.
~I have the right to bare arms, chest and legs.
~I have the right to try any judge who tries me.
~I have the right to a well hung jury.
~I have the right to examine all prospective jurors.
~I have the right to be tried by that jury under the piers.
~I have the right to remain silent, shriek or moan.
~I have the right to bare witnesses.
~If four men testify against me, I will take the FIFTH!
~I have the right to hold my own in a court of law.
~I have the right to bring the system to its knees.
~I have the right to come, subpoenaed or not.
~I have the right to orally examine the penal code.
~If I wave my rights, you must wave back.
~I have the right to wrestle with my conscience.
(If I don't have a conscience, the court must appoint one to me.)
~I have the right to stick it out to the end.
AND I WILL!!

Excuses?

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breath-a- lyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

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